We're all familiar with the "proof by contradiction" or "proof by induction", but what about these less frequently used but equally effective proofs? Watch for them soon in a lecture near you.
Proof by convection: Lots of hot air and hand waving.
Proof by reduction: At each step, ignore some detail of the original problem. Continue the reduction process until the original problem has been reduced to something trivial, at which point, the proof is complete.
Proof by obfuscation: Generously apply Greek letters, sequences, series, partial deriva-tives, complex numbers,
p, and e. Distance your solution from the original problem as much as possible. Once the audience looks sufficiently perplexed, cancel everything, write `= 0, Q.E.D.', and smile confidently.
Proof by trepidation: Write down something which is obviously wrong, and then loudly and angrily defy anyone to prove otherwise.
Proof by delegation: `This proof is left as an exercise.'
Proof by truncation: Cleverly leave your proof until the end of class. When the class time is up and you have not yet finished the proof announce, `We'll continue this proof next class' and then promptly forget about it.
Proof by intoxication: Every time you write an equal sign, take a shot of Jack Daniels. By the time you're done the proof, it makes sense to you even if nobody else gets it.
Proof by prediction: Write down what you want to prove, then predict that one day it will be proven. Whip out some tarot cards and support your claim.
Proof by post-hypnotic suggestion: Begin proof by `You are growing verrrry sleepy . . . '
Proof by condescension: Do lots of things "by inspection", use the phrase `it is blatantly obvious that' and scoff at any questions that arise.
Proof by intervention: Somewhere in the middle of your proof a miracle occurs.
Proof by religion: Describe your proof, tell your students that they have to take it on faith, and instruct them to go home and pray to the all powerful Lambda that they, mere mortals, may be granted the insight to comprehend even a smidgen of this wisdom of the ages.
Proof by bovine excretion: Reference Spivak to support the part of your proof you have absolutely no idea how to do yourself. Use exact page numbers.
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