Math Joke

[pe]

ขอบคุณคับคุณ a1
ที่ตอบมา
จริงแล้วนะผมว่า
น่าจะมีการกำหนดขอบเขตกันให้มากกว่านี้นะครับ
ว่าใครสมควรได้รับวุฒที่อาวุโสกว่าเมื่อ ได้เข้ามาอยู่ที่ประเทศไทยหลังจากที่
ได้รับ ตอกเตอร์มาแล้ว
ถ้าไม่เช่นนั้นใครก็ได้ที่คิดว่าจบ ดร
ก็มีโอกาสพูดว่า ข้านี้แน่เหมือนกัน
เหล่านี้ทำให้เกิด พวกมั่วนิ่มขึ้นมาเยอะ ที่รู้ตัวก็ดีไป
ที่ที่ไม่รู้ตัวนี้ยังคงคิดว่า ข้าแน่อยู่่ทั้งที่จริงไม่มีอะไรเลยทำให้บางคนหมด

ผมว่่าถ้าเป็นไปได้ ( คงเป็นไปไม่ได้แน่นอน)
ควรจะกำหนดให้ชัดเจนว่า
บทบาทไหน ควรส่งเสริมให้กับ
คณิต-วิทย์
แล้วพวกที่จบต่างสาขา ก็กำหนดบทบาทให้รองลงไป
จะทำได้มั้ย ถ้าไม่อย่างนั้น พวกนี้
แค่ เล่่น กับต้นไม้ สกัดสาร
แต่อีกฝ่าย ยังคงเคร่งเครียด กับ ด้านที่มันเป็น นามธรรมล่่ะ
ยังต้องมานั่งจินตนาการอะไรต่อมิอะไรให้มันปวดหัว

แต่่ยังเรียก ดร เหมือนกัน
ผมว่าพวกนี้คงไม่่ได้ครึ่งความ อัจฉริยะของ
เด็กรุ่นหลังเช่่น อย่างคุณกร คุณ top
เลยก็ว่าได้

จริงๆ แล้วผมเองนั้นก็ไม้อยากให้เป็นประเด็นขึ้นมาหรอกคับ
ที่พอดีว่าตอนที่มีเรื่องนั้น
เห็นอาจารย์ที่เป็นรุ่่นอาวุโสและจบทางด้าน math ของผม
โดนบีบ ตอนที่มีเจ้าพวกมั่วนิ่มเข้ามาเป็นกรรมการ ที่ตัวเขาเองก็เพิ่งได้ ดร มาหมาดๆ
โดยที่เขาก็ใช้ dr มั่วนิ่มนั่นแหละคับเข้ามาอ้างว่า เขาก็ได้ dr มาเหมือนกัน ทำให้เขาสรุปตัวเองไปว่า่เขาก็แน่เหมือนกัน
ในการตัดสินใจเรื่องบางอย่างที่ไม่อาจเอามาพูดได้ในที่นี้
ทำให้ตัวผมเองเกิดความรู้สึกที่ว่า

ในประเทศไทยมีทั้ง
dr จอมปลอม และ dr ตัวจริง
อย่างนี้จะทำอย่างไร
ถ้าในเมื่อ คนที่จบ
มาทางด้านอื่น
แต่่ ต้องมาเผชิญหน้า กับเจ้าคนพวกนี้


นี่ยังไ่ม่่รวมเรื่องที่ ผู้ใหญ่ในวงการ math
ลอก เรื่อง combination theory
หรืออะไรสักอย่างจาก สิงค์์โปนะคับ
ยังเป็นกันได้ขนาดนี้

วันหนึ่ง ถ้ามีคนมาบอกคุณว่า ผม จบ dr มา
แล้วข่ม วุฒ ป ตรีล่ะ คุณจะทำอย่างไรถ้าประเทศไทยยังสนับสนุนพวกที่จบ dr
แล้วถ้าพวกนี้ จบจากทางด้าน พวกมั่วนิ่มอย่างที่ผมบอก
คุณจะสึกอย่างไร ทั้งที่ตัวคุณเอง สมมติ จบ
วศ. จาก ม ที่มีชื่อของประเทศไทย ด้วยซ้ำไป
และมันสมองพวกคุณเป็นเลิศกว่าพวกนั้น หลายเท่าตัว

[ToT]

เอามาให้อ่านกันเล่นๆคลายเครียดครับ หลงไปเจอมา

[gon]

ถ้าจำไม่ผิดรู้สึกว่าพี่จะเคยผ่านมาแล้วนะ. แต่บางคนอาจจะยังไม่เคยก็ได้

The mathematician, the physicist and the engineer

Mathematicians have always considered themselves superior to physicists and, of course, engineers. A mathematician gave this advice to his students:
" If you understand a theorem and you can prove it, publish it in a mathematics journal. If you understand it but can't prove it, submit it to a physics journal. If you can neither understand nor prove it, send it to a journal of engineering. "

Freeman Dyson, a brilliant mathematician as well as a world famous physicist, disagreed. He wrote, only partly tongue-in-cheek-modern physics is both highly imaginative and obscure that,
" Most of the papers which are submitted to the Physical Review are rejected, not because it is impossible to understand them, but because it is possible. Those that are impossible to understand are usually published. "

Conway's Last Theorem

The last theorem in John Conway's book, On Numbers and Games, is

Theorem 100 : This is the last theorem in this book.
(The proof is obvious.)

Sylvester was once approached by one of his research students who proposed to use a certain result in his research. Sylvester objected that the claimed theorem could not possibly be true, at which point his student tactfully explained to him that he, Professor Sylvester, had proved it himself, many years previously.

Dirac and women

Being a great theoretical physicist, Dirac liked to theorize about all the problems of daily life, rather than to find solutions by direct experiment. Once, at a party in Copenhagen, he proposed a theory according to which there must be a certain distance at which a woman's face looks its best. He argued that at d = infinity one cannot see anything anyway, while at d = 0 the oval of the face is deformed because of the small aperture of the human eye, and many other imperfections (such as small wrinkles) become exaggerated. Thus there is a certain optimum distance at which the face looks its best.
" Tell me, Paul, " I asked, " how close have you ever seen a woman's face ? "
" Oh, " replied Dirac, holding his palms about two feet aparts, " about that close. "

Several years later Dirac married " Wigner's sister ", so known among the physicists because she was the sister of the noted Hungarian theoretical physicist Eugene Wigner. When one of Dirac's old friends, who had not yet heard of the marriage, dropped into his home he found with Dirac an attractive woman who served tea and then sat down comfortably on a sofa.
" How do you do ! " said the friend, wondering who the woman might be.
" Oh ! " exclaimed Dirac, " I am sorry, I forgot to introduce you. This is ... this is Wigner's sister. "

Bertrand Russell dreams his fate

I can remember Bertrand Russell telling me of a horrible dream. He was in the top floor of the University Library, about A.D. 2100. A library assistant was going round the shelves carrying an enormous bucket, taking down book after book, glancing at them, restoring them to the shelves or dumping them into the bucket. At last he came to three large volumes which Russell could recognize as the last surviving copy of Principia mathematica. He took down one of the volumes, turned over a few pages, seemed puzzled for a moment by the curious symbolism, closed the volume, balanced it in his hand and hesitated ...

G.H. Hardy

No flies on von Neumann

The following puzzle was put to von Neumann (1903 - 1957), who had a reputation for calculating fabulously quickly: two cyclists are cycling towards each other, starting twenty miles apart, and cycling at a steady 10 m.p.h. A fly meanwhile starts from the nose of one cyclist, and flies at a steady 15 m.p.h. to the nose of the other cyclist, and then back to the first, and so on, until the cyclists meet. How far does the fly travel ? Von Neumann gave the correct solution instantly, whereupon the poser said, in a disappointed tone of voice, " Oh, you know the trick ! " Replied von Neumann, " What trick ? I just added up the infinite series ! "

Hard-ly obvious

G.H. Hardy was giving a lecture, and reached a point at which he announced that " It is now obvious that ... " Here he paused, and then excused himself and left the room. Twenty minutes later he returned, and repeated triumphantly, " It is now obvious that ... "

This anecdote has been told of several mathematicians - so there must be some deeper truth in it !

MATHEMATICS PURITY TEST

Count the number of yes's, subtract from 60, and divide by 0.6.

The Basics

1) Have you ever been excited about math?
2) Had an exciting dream about math?
3) Made a mathematical calculation?
4) Manipulated the numerator of an equation?
5) Manipulated the denominator of an equation?
6) On your first problem set?
7) Worked on a problem set past 3:00 a.m.?
8) Worked on a problem set all night?
9) Had a hard problem?
10) Worked on a problem continuously for more than 30 minutes?
11) Worked on a problem continuously for more than four hours?
12) Done more than one problem set on the same night (i.e. both started and finished them)?
13) Done more than three problem sets on the same night?
14) Taken a math course for a full year?
15) Taken two different math courses at the same time?
16) Done at least one problem set a week for more than four months?
17) Done at least one problem set a night for more than one month (weekends excluded)?
18) Done a problem set alone?
19) Done a problem set in a group of three or more?
20) Done a problem set in a group of 15 or more?
21) Was it mixed company?
22) Have you ever inadvertently walked in upon people doing a problem set?
23) And joined in afterwards?
24) Have you ever used food doing a problem set?
25) Did you eat it all?
26) Have you ever had a domesticated pet or animal walk over you while you were doing a problem set?
27) Done a problem set in a public place where you might be discovered?
28) Been discovered while doing a problem set?

Kinky Stuff

29) Have you ever applied your math to a hard science?
30) Applied your math to a soft science?
31) Done an integration by parts?
32) Done two integration by parts in a single problem?
33) Bounded the domain and range of your function?
34) Used the domination test for improper integrals?
35) Done Newton's Method?
36) Done the Method of Frobenius?
37) Used the Sandwich Theorem?
38) Used the Mean Value Theorem?
39) Used a Gaussian surface?
40) Used a foreign object on a math problem (eg: calculator)?
41) Used a program to improve your mathematical technique (eg: MACSYMA)?
42) Not used brackets when you should have?
43) Integrated a function over its full period?
44) Done a calculation in three-dimensional space?
45) Done a calculation in n-dimensional space?
46) Done a change of bases?
47) Done a change of bases specifically in order to magnify your vector?
48) Worked through four complete bases in a single night (eg: using the Graham-Schmidt method)?
49) Inserted a number into an equation?
50) Calculated the residue of a pole?
51) Scored perfectly on a math test?
52) Swallowed everything your professor gave you?
53) Used explicit notation in your problem set?
54) Purposefully omitted important steps in your problem set?
55) Padded your own problem set?
56) Been blown away on a test?
57) Blown away your professor on a test?
58) Have you ever multiplied 23 by 3?
59) Have you ever bounded your Bessel function so that the membrane did not shoot to infinity?
60) Have you ever understood the following quote:
"The relationship between Z^0 to C_0, B_0, and H_0 is an example of a general principle which we have encountered: the kernel of the adjoint of a linear transformation is both the annihilator space of the image of the transformation and also the dual space of the quotient of the space of which the image is a subspace by the image subspace."
(Sternberg & Bamberg's _A "Course" in Mathematics for Students of Physics_, vol. 2)

TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING THE MATH HOMEWORK

1. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
2. Isaac Newton's birthday.
3. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.
4. I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
5. I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
6. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
7. I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
8. I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.
9. I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
10. I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.

When I was a Math/Chem grad student at Princeton in 1973-74, there was a story going around about a grad student. This guy was always late. One day he stumbled into class late, saw seven problems written on the board, and wrote them down. As the week went on he began to panic: the math department at Princeton is fiercely competitive, and here he was unable to do most of a simple homework assignment! When the next class rolled around he only had solved two of the problems, although he had a pretty good idea of how to solve a third but not enough time to complete it.

When he dejectedly flung his partial assignment on the prof's desk, the prof asked him "What's that?" "The homework." "What homework?" Eventually it came out that what the prof had written on the board were the seven most important unsolved problems in the field.

This is largely an academic legend, at least according to Jan Harold Brunvand, the author of a series of books on so-called Urban Legends. He talks about it in his latest book _Curses! Broiled Again!_ in the chapter entitled "The Unsolvable Math Problem." It is, however, based in some fact. The Stanford mathematician, George B. Danzig, apparently managed to solve two statistics problems previously unsolved under similar circumstances.

If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulder of giants.
-- Isaac Newton

If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson

[TOP]

อันนี้เป็นกระทู้เก่าจากหว้ากอครับ เขียนขึ้นจากความทรงจำ

หลังจากที่ผมสอนนักเรียน เรื่องลิมิตโดยยกตัวอย่าง การหาลิมิตดังนี้

\(\displaystyle{\lim_{x \to 8} \frac{1}{x - 8} = \infty}\)

เมื่อเห็นว่านักเรียนเข้าใจดีแล้ว จึงทดสอบด้วยโจทย์ข้อนี้

\(\displaystyle{\lim_{x \to 5} \frac{1}{x - 5} =\ ?}\)

แต่นักเรียนกลับมาตอบมาว่า